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HELP - no respect


Hi,

I have a 6 year old gelding who is getting rather pushy around me.

I have had him for around 8 months, not being able to work him much due to an injury of mine, then a problem with him which we have now resolved. He has always been OK to lunge, however the other day he simply refused to walk off on a circle and kept turning towards me no matter what I did! I tried turning him in a tight circle, walking toward his rump, then asking him to move on , but again he refused. He was just saying "NO, I won't". I eventually had some help offered and he eventually lunged OK for the other person.

Is it just because he has no respect for me? How can i gain some respect?

Hi Wendy,

Sounds like he does not respect or trust you to be his leader. When there is not real leader around the horse will fend for himself in order to help him survive and this is what your horse is doing. He is not being stubborn, willful or doing anything to you. He is just being a normal horse looking for it's leader. If he lunged for this other person, there is something out of order with your position, energy, focus, etc. He was tolerant before, but now does not have to be as you do not know how to properly request the action.

We gain respect first by giving it. You need to learn the skills better. Showing respect means learning what is needed by the horse in the way of communication, attention, attitude and body language, etc. If I want your trust and respect I might first learn your language, discover and acknowledge your needs and desires and then do my very best to provide you with what you need. I would be consistent over time and always compassionate and kind. I would be more like a great parent is for a child. That means being a wonderful and appropriate leader as well. Please consider you are not getting respect because you have missed a few steps in offering respect and acknowledgement to your horse. Learn his ways better and I promise you things will improve dramatically.

Let me know if you have questions about this and I can recommend steps to take to get the relationship you really want with your horse. If you want the respect of a foreigner, learn his language first. Do you know what I mean?

Sincerely, Franklin

I really thank you for your response. I spent some time with Jacks this last weekend walking around in his paddock, doing different things, weeding, checking for inappropriate things etc. He followed me and we 'played' a bit together. He would come up to me and 'sniff', I would turn away or side ways and ignore him etc. I would then approach him and give him a rub which he accepted. I would then walk off and he would follow closely but would wait until I looked at him, he would then approach.

I then had him on a lead rope and halter, backing up, yielding the quarters etc. he was a good boy. Later that night at feeding time in the stable, he came up to me with ears back and I sharply and loudly said 'no' at his feed bin. He looked at me startled and walked off to munch on his hay! Once I had left his feed bin, he saw I had moved off and then went to it and ate! It was as though he had suddenly realised that I meant what I said and showed some RESPECT!!

The next day I took him out to the arena to lunge. A first he stood and looked at me. I requested he 'walk on' to which he did nothing. I then showed him I was serious and waved the end of the lunge whip at his side, shoulder and neck and he moved off and did what I asked!

Amazing!!
Wendy

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